Victims of Violent Crime

We need to hear from the victims of violent crime the most. Please contact me about your experiences so I can post your stories for all people to see. The victims are the most important people in all of this mess. I need the victims to let the people in prison know how much your lives are changed from other people's crimes. This page is no good unless I hear from the victims. Until I get stories from you, this page will be of no use to anyone. I will post your story on the internet. E-mail me at the below address. If you would like to send it through the mail just let me know in the e-mail and I will give you an address.

I've noticed while reading several victim stories on the internet, most are from family or friends of the murder victim. I feel my story about Darrin is important to share, not only because he was my best friend, but because I was a victim as well, and left for dead. Darrin died in my arms, and I live to tell you this story. It was late August and we were at a small concert to see a local band who were friends of ours. After their set, we left and ran across the way to a small store to grab some sodas for the drive home. They were closed so we headed back. We noticed to young guys walking towards us on the sidewalk. They passed us and I remember letting out a small sigh of relief. All of a sudden we were both grabbed from behind. Darrin was pushed to the ground and without explanation or warning a shot was fired and broke the silence of the night. I watched Darrin lying there bleeding. I cried out and the guy who had grabbed Darrin stabbed me once in the chest, and the two fled (they were followed by two men who had caught the tail end of the incident and wound up leading the police to them) I remember falling to the ground once I was let go, unable to support myself. I crawled to Darrin and I just held him and cried, rocking back and forth. I don't remember being pulled away from him...I had already gone into shock. The two "guys" it turns out killed Darrin as a requisite for gang membership. Their only regret was that I was still alive. I remember for the longest time that was my regret too. I remember coming home from the funeral and I sat in the car outside of my home for three hours. I knew that when I got out, life was going to begin without Darrin physically being there. Even though it's been almost four years now, I still struggle sometimes with the reality of it. Writing about it only confirms that this nightmare really happened to me. I always have thought it was such a coincidence that I was stabbed right above my heart. My heart is not only where I keep Darrin's memory, but it is a constant reminder of the pain I have suffered and continue to every day of my life. A quick note to other victims: if you haven't already, find someone to talk to, because I feel like that's the best way to work through this. I've kept my feelings bottled up for so long, and looking back I really regret that.

My name is Rebecca, I am 19 years old. When I was 15, the most horrible thing that has ever happened to me unfolded slowly and lasted for about 2 hours. There was a friend of a friend whom I had met only twice before. He seemed decent enough of a guy, he was friends with allot of the same people I was. They all said although he was quiet and often misunderstood, he was a good person once you got to know him. For the record I would like all people who read this to know his name... It is "Ryan Taitt" (pronounced 'tate'). I was walking home from a friends house on the afternoon of April 11-th, 2000. This man, Ryan Taitt drove up beside me and said hi, I recognized him from my friends house, so I stopped to talk to him. he asked me if I would like to go for a drive with him and smoke some pot, which I was into at the time. Now I can't even think about smoking pot without having a flashback and nearly reaching tears. I said sure, not wanting to pass up an opportunity for a free smoke-out. He drove a black Geo Storm with a green racing stripe, all in all a very sharp looking car. I got in, and we drove away. If only I had been smarter... If only I had been a better person, not into drugs... If only I had somewhere to be, somewhere to go, someone with me. He drove out to a rural part of our town, beyond city limits, which was ideal to avoid patrolling cops. He drove down a secluded road which ended on the Columbia Rivers shore. We got out of the car and walked a few feet to a big shack built on the rivers edge by and for fishermen to sit in to get out of the rain and wind when fishing. If only there had been fishermen at the river that day. As soon as I opened the door and stepped inside, his arm reached around my neck into a choke hold and a hard object pressed into the middle of my back as I heard the most frightening words I have ever heard a person say.... " Don't make a sound, if you say a single word, or make one single sound, I will empty this .45 into your fucking head... Then I will cut off your tits, and cut off your head.. just for fun" I instantly froze and a tear rolled down my cheek. I couldn't breathe. Suddenly I was thrown onto the ground hard. I moaned as my shoulder slammed into the concrete and I heard him say "What did I tell you about making any noise, you are lucky you have something I want! Otherwise you would be fucking dead right now!!" I asked him quietly "What do I have that you want? I will give you anything, just please don't kill me." He simply replied " What do you have that I want? Ha ha ha ha... in a word.... Pussy." He dropped to his knees still pointing a huge black gun in my face and commanded me to take down my pants, which I did. He brutally raped me, all the while with his gun resting against the left temple of my head. He raped me for about 5 minutes, maybe less, before he got off and was done. It felt like five hours, I can't even begin to describe how slowly time seemed to go. He stood up, put his...in all honesty...extremely small penis back into his pants and zipped them up. He said "Damn baby, that was fantastic... did you enjoy it as much as I did? Don't lie." I told him I did, although my mind seemed to be blank, although I could hardly see through the tears, Although I could hardly move... I unconsciously responded to his every command and question with some basic instinct of responses to cater to his demands in an effort to keep myself alive by telling him what he wanted to hear. We walked back to his car... He turned to me, set the gun on the hood and asked.. " If I were to give you this gun right now......... would you shoot me?" ABSOLUTELY !! "No" I said. "good" he replied picking up the gun. "Get in the car" He drove around to several secluded locations, putting the gun against my head, forcing it into my mouth, pushing it against my vagina, all the while telling me he was going to kill me once he found the right location to do so. He said he might mutilate and torture me before putting me out of my misery. I cried and pleaded, making empty promises of being too scared to go to the police should he let me go. For some reason.... He believed me.. PRAISE GOD!! I was going to live. He drove to a gas station, parked at the payphone, put the gun in his pants telling me, if I got out and tried to run when he made his call, he would blow my head off, which I had no doubt by now he was very capable of. He got back into the car and informed me, he had called his partner and told him if I went to the cops and he was arrested, his friend would hunt me down and kill me. He drove me home, and dropped me off at my driveway. As I got out he reminded my of the consequences of telling anyone. I closed the door, and walked very slowly up my driveway until he had driven away, then I ran as fast as I could into my house slammed and locked the door screaming " DAD!!! DADDY!!!" My dad came running out to see what was wrong to find me hysterically crying with my head in my knees and my arms wrapped around them rocking back and fourth unable to speak for several minutes. After I explained what had happened, him and my mom called the police immediately. The one person who was there for me the most during all of this was my best friend Jeremy. He is a few years older than I but we were seemingly soul mates, and best friends from the first moment we met. When he showed up a few minutes after I got home.. he and I went into my room to be alone and I told him the whole story, managing to keep myself together, as he cried for me.. What a sweetheart he was, he felt for me as I felt for myself. Without saying a word he kissed me on my forehead, stood up, and left. After the police arrived and I gave them my report, an hour or so had gone by and Jeremy showed back up. This man, this sweet, honest, kind, loving, sensitive man; knew Ryan, where he lived and who he hung out with. The first place Jeremy had gone, Ryan was there with a couple friends. Jeremy approached him, and punched him in the throat. Ryan dropped to his knees. Jeremy kicked him in the face instantly breaking his nose. He slowly walked to the side of Ryan laying on his back, hands on his face, bleeding profusely, screaming in pain. Jeremy sat on his chest, knees holding down Ryan's arms.... Jeremy began punching Ryan in the face left hand then right hand, back and fourth over and over, friends said about 30 times. Ryan lay on the ground unable to move, bleeding everywhere, barely conscious. Jeremy said" What kind of man rapes a 15 year old girl at gunpoint? I know the answer... A dead man who will burn in hell, and I will see you there only to bust you up again." Then Jeremy spit on Ryan's face, and called the police. They showed up immediately and arrested him. They had already talked to me and were on the lookout for him at the time so they responded very quick. The police told Jeremy, although extremely risky, they had never seen a young man(19) with as much guts, or effectiveness in their careers, and congratulated him on finding and disabling Ryan Taitt. Ryan got nine years in a maximum security prison from a plea bargain. He confessed and got nine years instead if fifteen. In 2009 he gets out. Jeremy and I are now engaged, and have been together for three and a half years. If not for him, I often think I would have killed myself; And although I wish Ryan were dead, I know he is still getting beaten up in prison regularly, as I often get letters in the mail from the prison warden explaining Ryan is being moved temporarily from the prison to the hospital to treat severe wounds. Ryan has written me two letters... both apologizing and explaining himself being saved by Jesus, the error of his ways, and that he is completely reformed. I don't believe he will ever be reformed, how could a man do these things, be that kind of person, have such disrespect for human life... and then, just change. Jeremy is my angel... my knight in shining amour. He has often told me, in 2009, if Ryan shows up at our house after being released, Jeremy will kill him on sight... I completely believe him. There isn't a person in the world I love more, or that understands me. For any girl reading this, please know that I have been physically sick writing this, but I believe it is important for people to know what is possible of ordinary people whom you trust. Never take a ride from a person you do not fully know, and never walk alone. I am a living testament to both. I know that I can move on and have a happy life now. Now that Jeremy has made it possible. Always trust in the Lord Jesus for all things no matter how enormous, no matter how trivial, no matter how unfair, horrible or great.... All things that do not kill you, have a lasting effect of making you stronger. Jeremy is my guardian angel making me stronger day by day. It's been four and a half years now, and I only think about those events a couple times a month now, instead if a couple times an hour. If any girl has been through an ordeal as terrible and great as I, believe when I say it can and will get better with time, Jesus, and a person, or people in your corner to help keep your mind on happier things. Thank you Lord... and thank you Jeremy..... -Rebecca

This might be a mistake but here it goes. I was raped by my minister when I was a 25 yrs old lesbian and he was 50 yrs old. I am now 41 and am obsessed with killing him and then killing myself. If something should happen and my plan doesn't work and I go to prison, so what. I have the feeling when I retire there won't be anymore social security left for my generation and so I will force the government to take care of me anyway. Is there any advise you could give me to change my mind? I'm still a lesbian of course and he was the last man who has touched me. I am in counseling and on meds. I haven't prayed since then either. I'm angry at God for not stopping him. Someone could have walked in, or he could have become impotent or had a heart attack, something? But no, God just let him do this to me. I don't believe it was all the devil because God is stronger than that and should have taken care of his little child. Thank you for your time! Jenny

I happened to stumble through your site on victims and I was compelled to tell my story. I was in the 5th grade at the time and although I was not the most popular kid, I was still fairly happy. One day, a lady who my mother worked with had a sleep over for her son's 8th birthday. I had no idea what was getting ready to take place. He had a cousin who was like 15 and being that I was 10, I looked up to him as he took an interest in me. That night, when I fell asleep, he repeatedly molested me for about six hours. He would do it on and off. Just stop at one point,
then come back and do it some more. To make a long story short. He informed me that he had a gun and threatened my life, if I ever told my parents. I am 22 years old now and have come over this hurdle with help from God and my family. Although they will never know the depth of what happened. If anyone reads this, I want to encourage you that as long as you've got God on your side you are not alone. His plans are very perfect and there is no need to question them. We often want answers to questions which cannot be answered. Such as Why? Why did this happen to me? I can't tell you why but what I can tell you is that it's in the weakest and darkest hours of our lives that God continually works His perfect plans. Notice I say perfect! What is perfect in God's sight might not be very perfect to us. But we have only human comprehension versus the Divinity that God possesses. I know you may say how can God allow me to go through this? I used to ask the same question. But the answer is simply that without trials, and hard times, we would never know the value of good times. Without adversity, we would never experience triumph. Without pain, we couldn't appreciate joy. That's why. Stay encouraged and I am always available to pray with you all:bravery01@yahoo.com